Saturday, April 12, 2014


Some stories are harder to tell as I think I still am making heads or tails of them. At that moment when things don't make sense, you get lost in all the confusion caused by an explosion of emotion, anxiety and the puzzle of soul - tearing pain. It seems the old adage that hindsight is 20/20 rings true because it is only when we distance ourselves from these events that the underlying truths start getting revealed. So without further ado, here's Running, Screaming, Hostage Taking and of course, The Police.....

June 2011
I phoned my wife and told her we've got to talk. She had been vanishing recently, coming home late and a whole lot of other things were not making sense. The conversation was not going well and suddenly instead of the arrogant sound in her voice, I detected a faint tinge of fear and reluctance. We had to sort things out, things were getting out of control and I honestly needed to piece things together before they flew totally out the window.

I finished work and drove home to my townhouse in Centurion, Pretoria I was tired when I entered the house. My wife was busy making something in the kitchen and our baby daughter lying drinking her bottle in her cot in the other room. I then decided to voice my opinions and start the process of figuring things out. I pulled a chair into the middle of the lounge and told my wife to sit down. I then locked the front door and said we were going to sit down and have a serious conversation about our lives because thing were definitely wrong between us. I put the house keys in my pocket.

"What the hell is going on?"

It was then that our baby daughter started to cry in the bedroom. My wife went to the bedroom but the crying continued. She turned to me and told me that the baby was crying for her favourite toy which had been washed and was hanging on the washing line. I gave her the keys so that she could fetch the white rabbit.

Distracted by the crying child, I hadn't noticed that 10 minutes had passed since my wife had said she was going to fetch the toy. Eventually when the baby had calmed down, I walked to the washing line outside. No one was there. I walked into the yard and no one was there. I walked the entire circumference of the house with her not anywhere. I then walked into the house and checked each of the rooms ensuring that perhaps she hadn't walked back into the house and I hadn't noticed.

Nope, she was nowhere to be found. I then called her cellphone but got no answer. Where was she? I had no idea what was going on. I then dressed my daughter warmly, put her into her car seat, strapped her in and climbed into my car.

I drove around the estate in which I lived. Around in circles. Checking everywhere. I tried calling my wife over and over but the phone rang. This continued for a while until I decided to give up because I had no idea where she was. I then went to the security gate where 2 security guards had been stationed and asked them whether or not they had seen a woman come by on foot. At that moment I saw a police van stop and didn't give it much notice until they asked the guard about the address I stayed at.

I then told the police officers that I lived at that address and they said I must drive to there and that they're coming with. Now I was totally befuddled and immensely confused. I didn't have the faintest idea what was going on or what was about to happen. I drove to my townhouse, then took my daughter out of her car seat, all this while the police watched. I then opened the door and invited them in. Putting my daughter in the cot, I then asked the police officers what the problem was.

One sat with a rifle while the other stood. The one sitting then told me that we all are going to wait. Wait? Wait for what, I thought to myself. I then offered them coffee but they then asked only for water. At least 10 long minutes passed and then another police van pulled up. My wife arrived in the other van with another police officer and like the others had his weapon drawn also.

It was at this point that I asked her:
"What the hell is going on?"
She started literally ranting and raving! I heard an amazing story that I was going to drown her in the bath to which she showed them our bathroom. She then pointed to the jug on the counter table saying that was the water I was going to use to drown her?!!! The jug could possibly hold 1 litre of water at the most. I still was very confused about what was going on. Suddenly our baby started crying and I went to the cot and lifted her in my arms to try and calm her down.
My wife then entered with the police and they said that I must give them the baby. I was starting to get very frustrated and annoyed because no one has as yet explained what was going on to me. I responded to the police by saying that they would have to arrest me before I gave them my child. They then insisted and realising the entire gravity of the situation I slowly handed over the child to her mother and then I was ordered to go with them to the closest police station in the area.
I got into my car while my wife got into one of the 2 police van that had been parked outside, lights flashing. One of the policeman had then climbed in next to me, with the gun between his legs and told me to drive, while the other vans followed me. that's about 5 police officers all to come fetch me and stop me from drowning my wife? The absurdity of the situation was amazing. Who's fighting real crime if it takes 5 police officers and 2 vans to come fetch a man and his baby because of one delirious woman?
Upon arriving at the police station I was then escorted to the into the police station. Chapter 2 of my drama was about to begin. Now that I was in the rather empty police station a female officer was apparently the on-duty station commander for the evening. She then told me that I had to find a place to stay for the night and that a judge would assist my wife in filing a protection order against me?!!! I asked why would anyone do this, and she then answered saying that my wife had come in there and went on and on about her husband was trying to kill her! I said that was not true and then she replied that a judge would make up his mind on what to do further and that they would've assisted me if I was the one who came in screaming my wife was trying to kill me.
I then turned to my wife and told her to tell them that she suffered from bipolar disorder and that she hadn't been taking her meds. This was all in her mind. She then went on and on saying that I was making that up to which the station commander then jumped in with the fact that a judge would sort that out also. I then asked the police if I could have a moment to talk to my wife and they said to ask her. I begged her to tell me what was going on and could we speak together for a moment. She eventually agreed and we were led to a room where the station commander then told her that they were all outside and if she felt the least bit of fear for her life, that they would come in and take me down!
The police left and I looked at her. I begged her to stop her madness and to come home with me. I promised her that I would take her to the doctor the very next day and that she would get the help she needed. She then implied that I was using her bipolar condition against her. I then told her to look at what she's done here tonight, that this wasn't right and again begged for her to come home. Eventually with the strangest, craziest look on her face, she agreed.
We walked out and then told the station commander we were going home. The station commander then handed her her phone number and told her to call her once again at the faintest sign of trouble. I then turned around and asked her why she didn't give me her number in case my life was in danger. She then reluctantly handed me her number as well and said I could call if I felt my life was in danger.
To be totally honest, even today I don't really understand what happened that night, all I know is that she had sent and SMS message to all the contacts in her phonebook on her phone saying the following words:
"Call cops now, he's trying to kill me"
My mother got the same message as well as a few of my other friends. The questions will continue to plague me for the rest of my life. How did she get from our home to the police station? How does the bipolar mind influence one's view of what's happening versus what you think is happening? The police was involved, the complex board was involved as well as all our neighbours. What I can deduce however is that because of the multiple affairs she was having and the new type of people she had begun hanging out with, they had advised her to do these things as a way to leave me for one of her boyfriends and she would get to keep our child.
I'm sure that some people have gone through much worse because of bipolar disorder and I have heard some very interesting and often violent stories on the subject but as I wrote this blog post I cried and sobbed at least twice. I have not had any closure regarding this story and it will always mark the turning point in my life when thing really started changing and the downward spiral of anarchy and entropy had begun to rear it's ugly head.


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