I've heard people say that if you don't respect money you'll end up poor. In my life I have been homeless, had money and I can tell you I honestly believe that money can't buy love or happiness. These things come from inside yourself. Realistically I do understand that we can only make our way in this world with money.

I worked myself up from a little casual in a retail store to eventually become a regional manager as well as a store manager with the same company. I have worked myself up through the ranks and all the while earning a salary and watching that grow. Times were often tough in the beginning but as my career flourished so did my annual income. After 13 years I had bought myself a brand new 3 series BMW and I could buy whatever I wanted.

Now conversely you must imagine there are people that have no appreciation or understanding of money, people who have never slaved a day in their lives as I have done. People who have no respect for money and amassing things. The kind of mentality that will forever drive themselves to the depths of despair whilst still having the ability to earn money. Strange right? Wrong, this is a norm for some ... here's a story to show you what money does to some people and how their own mind's make them poor.

My second wife when we met told me these immortal words which are forever etched into my mind


Let me tell you something, that couldn't have been further from the truth! She had 3 children yes but as for strong and independent.... what a load of BS! She had never lived by herself a day in her life, even as a married woman, she made her and her husband live with her parents. She wasn't even independent enough to live on her own married or not and perhaps to her benefit but she wasn't even close to independent! She squandered her money on men and drugs and had no savings to show for it. She never had a job longer than 5 years and since I met her could only keep a job for a few months before getting fired with 1 job lasting for a month.

So in 2012 she got a job. I will stray from the details for now as that will form part of a few other stories, anyway to help her out, I loaned her my BMW to get to and from work with the agreement that she would pay the instalment of the car for the length of time she used it and she agreed. She even tried to get a car of her own and that didn't work so she used my car.

Work from the start was a problem to her. The issues began just barely a few days in. Barely a few months into this new job and she was squandering her cash. So much so that every single month I had to loan her money to the tune of between R1500 - R3000 and I was living off my own provident fund which I received from my company upon leaving.

I bought her a beautiful wedding ring, bought her clothing, underwear, you name it. I never hesitated for a second. In the back of my mind, I pondered how I was going to refill my account since I myself had no job but that's where the thought stayed. So she's driving my BMW like a queen, doing her thing like she worked for it and living large, all the while disrespecting money as though it flowed like water.

Then one day coming home she and I were chatting on the phone while she was driving home. I asked her to end the conversation and focus on her driving since it was raining and I considered it very dangerous. It wasn't long after that I received a call to say she was involved in an accident and the car was smashed. I immediately made arrangements for her to be assisted since I had no way to get to her.

It turns out that the BMW that I had worked so hard for and dreamt about was smashed and not only that it was a write-off. The car was gone. She hadn't been hurt except for a concussion. I paid petrol money to a friend, who generously drove us to police stations and helped us with the children. Thinking that without a car our lives would be thrown into upheaval and she wouldn't be able to get to work, I assisted her in trying to get a car but once again she had no luck whatsoever. I paid cabs to take us where we wanted to go, all the while watching my bank account get depleted more and more.

I then put together the last of my money which I was keeping as a startup for my own business, which was around R24000 and bought her a 1995 Honda Ballade. Needless to say that car was stolen under her watch also. When her work took back her phone, I lent her my Blackberry phone to use and lo and behold while shopping with her children the phone was stolen out of her bag!

She received a payout once she lost her job for her own idiocy and inability to work as part of a team as well as lack of work ethic. That too got depleted and was gone as soon as she got it with me at least getting a laptop. Things then went down as one would expect it to. I had to sell the wedding ring I bought her as well as my Playstation 3. As you can well see money doesn't last in this woman's hands but all the while whether under the wrongful belief of her own subconscious wiring and self-righteousness.

I have lost more to this woman than to anyone ever in my entire life. My brother had warned me before saying that my uncle had supported such a woman and once she and her children had taken every cent from him, he became worthless to them and they left, leaving my uncle  with barely a dime to his name. I told my brother my wife wasn't like that and guess what, once my money was up, I suddenly became worthless.

Even now if you ask her about what I'd done for her with my money, whether it be lending cash to her parents or buying her kids things, she will tell you she had absolutely no part to play in it and as for all the things I've lost, she's crashed etc she will gladly tell you that it was money I owed her for the rent for staying with her! I now sit with a zero bank account and get to watch her squander every cent which I earn while she pretends with my money.

Can anyone tell me please where the hell the real person is who said:

because after 4 years of being married to this woman I still haven't seen strength, independence and as for love, let's just say it comes in drips and drabs... The biggest lie she's ever told has been the one she told herself! Here's the best part after emptying my provident fund and taking the R5000 I earn now every month she'll tell me that a man's duty is to support his family, so what kind of a man am I? Oh and my favourite line is also "I never told you to spend a cent on me". WHAT A FRIGGING JOKE!

Why complain, it's only money right?