Thursday, October 24, 2013

Who's Your Daddy?

Okay so imagine you meet a nice girl and you two hit it off. You love that she’s intelligent and can keep a good conversation. You two start a relationship and bond on emotional, physical and even spiritual levels. Like so many guys who meet girls, this is typical hoe a relationship begins and continues. It’s communication that essentially is the metaphorical ‘glue’ between any couple.

Part of the bonding is sharing stories with each other, the intimate details of your life, morals and perhaps even experience. You totally open up to the other and trust is built. I think anyone that has had any kind of relationship must surely understand what I’m saying.

One such story during the bonding phase goes like this...

I heard one of the most private secrets spoken off the soft lips of a loved one. She told me that when she was in matric and doing her final exams, her grandmother, on her father’s side asked her and her father to undergo a paternity test to prove that she was indeed her father’s daughter. She said she was under immense stress and could hardly cope with writing exams and going through the emotional trauma of a paternity test.

My heart broke and I really didn’t know what to say. A thousand different things went through my head, least of all, I pondered then if her grandmother was questioning her paternity that really implied that her own mother must’ve done something to have an entire family wondering such a thing. I looked into her eyes and asked if she knows why her grandmother would endure both her and her father to such a test and she responded saying she didn’t know.

What does one really say when you hear such a story. It’s a complex mixture of personal history intertwined with emotion and inner turmoil. One that’s possibly unimaginable unless you yourself have gone through such an experience.

Right, now flash forward two years into the future. The woman is now the ripe old age of 31. Her father sits in front of us. We now have a child of our own, a little boy. The only problem is, she admitted having an affair with her ex-boyfriend during the marriage and one of the things in question is the paternity of our own child. This unsurety comes from a message I intercepted on her phone where when chatting online to her ex-boyfriend’s cousin, she was asked if who the father of her child was, to which she replied her husband. Then she was told that the child looked like someone else and questioned how sure she was. She then replied with an oh and said she’d have to look.

So here she sits, with her dad and I. Trying to reach out to her dad, I said he should appreciate the questioning of paternity of our son because he too experienced it when he and his daughter went through it and thus understanding my predicament.
Imagine to my amazement when her father turns around to me and says he has NO IDEA WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!! No such event ever happened! The two of us sat dumbfounded and confused. The entire story was a lie! He’s daughter had nothing to further say, instead she tried to make up more excuses.

The question I’m leaving you with is, why would someone make up such an elaborate story? To serve what purpose exactly and to achieve what? There are just some questions to which we have to resign ourselves to the fact that we’ll never know the answer to for as long as we live.


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