Saturday, October 12, 2013


Now in all honesty I truly believe in the good in people. When given any choice they will make the right choice. Now I hear some of you laughing. Perhaps it’s naive but I try not to be too cynical. So when your partner is on Social Networking platforms like Facebook, Whatsapp, Mxit even Linkedin, you shouldn’t have any serious concerns because you know your partner won’t do anything wrong or get mixed up with strange things.

When I married my second wife, the Imam said, “don’t let Facebook become a problem.” I smiled and my wife and I left.  It bothered me then and after all I’ve been through, it still bothers me. Had Facebook become such a problem that holy men were talking about it to newlyweds?

Now I’ve read stories where people have changed their relationship status to ‘single’ while they were still in a relationship and this caused real issues in there lives. I myself am no stranger to things that happen online  but the question I’m posing here is do you really wan to blame all these Social Networking platforms? With technology today, we have everything at our fingertips, so should you monitor and perhaps even block your partner?

My answer simply is that of so many gun owners, guns don’t kill people, people kill people. Shouldn’t this philosophy extend itself to something like Facebook and the like? Can you really blame social networking or is it the responsibility of the person using it?

Now at the same time I hear people saying but rather perhaps abstain from using it, problem solved right? Wrong, sure abstinence could work but where do you draw the line? Where does it stop? Before you know it you’re living in a technology free household and holding onto a false sense of security.

Let me say this to you, if you don’t trust your partner on any internet forum then perhaps the problem is actually between you and your partner, not the platform. The platform mainly provides a service and how it’s used depends totally on the person using it. You will literally drive yourself crazy trying to stop what will probably be the inevitable anyway...
According to PsychCentral in a post entitled "FACEBOOK CAN DAMAGE A RELATIONSHIP" the following was found:
"For many, social networking sites are integral to relationships, but a new study finds that Facebook use could actually damage users’ romantic relationships.
"Researchers from the University of Missouri found that individuals who use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience Facebook-related conflict with their romantic partners.
This acrimony can cause negative relationship outcomes including emotional and physical cheating, breakup and divorce.

Psych CentralIn the study, researcher Russell Clayton and collegues surveyed Facebook users ages 18 to 82 years old. Participants were asked to describe how often they used Facebook and how much, if any, conflict arose between their current or former partners as a result of Facebook use.
The researchers found that high levels of Facebook use among couples significantly predicted Facebook-related conflict, which then significantly predicted negative relationship outcomes such as cheating, breakup, and divorce."

To read more from PsychCentral click here


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