Thursday, March 6, 2014
CAT, THE DRUG USED BY ALL GOOD WIVES OR JUST MINE?
My knowledge of drugs is still small in comparison to the people here in Johannesburg, Gauteng. I couldn't really tell you the difference between cocaine, tik / crystal meth or even crack and mind you I wouldn't want to. Drugs are not something that ever had any appeal to me and while others in my circles delved into it, I didn't see a need to alter any of my senses for however long. People will speak of peer pressure but that is a load of bullshit. As far as I'm concerned drug addicts / users are amongst the dumbest and most pathetic people on God's green earth. Having said all this you may wonder where I'm going with this so let me get straight to the point, my wife was hooked on a drug 'Kat' and she would use this drug in her parents home and with her 3 children in the house. Now I speak of kat but honestly she's admitted to using all kinds of other drugs also but I'm not going to focus on them right now but the one she's confessed to using more than most.
I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH TO ANYONE READING THIS BLOG POST, PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STAY AWAY FROM DRUGS! THERE ARE FAR TOO MANY PEOPLE HURT BY THIS AND IT'S YOUR CHOICE, NO ONE ELSE IS TO BLAME NO MATTER WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCE. SEEK HELP IF YOU ARE A DRUG USER / ADDICT!
Here's a breakdown of this drug from detectadrug.co.za
ORIGIN
Kat or Cat commonly refers to two types of drugs. Although similar, one is the leaf from the shrub catha edulis which contains Cathinone and is also called khat, quat, kat, gat and tchat. The other is a synthetic powder which contains Methcathinone and also has the street names Jeff in Russia and Cat in the USA. The leaves have been chewed for centuries by the people of eastern and central Africa and parts of the Arabian peninsula. They are bought in bundles which one chews on for a few hours after which you get a speed-like buzz. The active ingredient was isolated in the late 1970's as Cathinone and it was just a matter of time before a synthesised version was made. Kat powder has been on the dance scene in South Africa for a while, sometimes sold in capsules or pressed into tablets, but most often as powder which is snorted.
Cathinone is a natural occurring amphetamine and ephedrine-like substance. Methcathinone is a much more potent form. Both are psychoactive stimulants and part of the emphetamine family of drugs. Amphetamines work by triggering the release of dopamine molecules from their storage vesicles in the neurons in the brain. This causes them to flow out to the next neuron in massive quantities. They also block the re-uptake of dopamine but its understoond that this is not the principle mechanism of its effects. Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that regulates motor behaviour.
Methcathinone can be highly psychologically addictive, and can produce methamphetamine-like withdrawals, which is somewhat less in intensity than methamphetamine. It is highly unlikely for a methcathinone user to experience addiction on their first or even several subsequent administrations of the drug.
APPEARANCE
White or off-white powder.
STREET NAMES
Street slang for methcathinone may include terms such as Cat, Stroof, Katestroof, Jeff, Bathtub Speed, Wannabe-Speed, Kitty, Meth's Cat, Meth's Kitten or Marzipan (from smell during synthesis).
In Europe, methcathinone is primarily known as Ephedrone.
In Australia, methcathinone may be known as ketone or bk (beta ketone).
In South Africa it is primarily known as Stroof or occasionally Kat. Other local slang names include Cadillac Express, Wonder Star, Wild Cat, The C or Gaggers.
In Europe, methcathinone is primarily known as Ephedrone.
In Australia, methcathinone may be known as ketone or bk (beta ketone).
In South Africa it is primarily known as Stroof or occasionally Kat. Other local slang names include Cadillac Express, Wonder Star, Wild Cat, The C or Gaggers.
ROUTES OF ADMINISTRATION
Methcathinone is usually snorted, but can be smoked, injected, or taken orally.
EFFECTS
The effects of methcathinone usually last from four to six hours.
Cat users, like users of crystal and other stimulants, often stay on "runs" for days at a time, then sleep for a day or more before starting another binge.
Cat users, like users of crystal and other stimulants, often stay on "runs" for days at a time, then sleep for a day or more before starting another binge.
PHYSICAL EFFECTS
Methcathinone hydrochloride increases spontaneous rodent locomotor activity, potentiates the release of dopamine from dopaminergic nerve terminals in the brain, and causes appetite suppression. Users can easily forget to consume fluids leading to increased thirst and dehydration. The effects of methcathinone are similar to those of methamphetamine, initially deemed to be less intense by the inexperienced user, and often more euphoric.
The effects have been compared to those of cocaine, since it commonly causes hypertension (elevated blood pressure) and tachycardia (elevated heart rate). Reported effects include:
· Feelings of euphoria
· Increased alertness
· Dilated pupils
· Rapid breathing
· Increased heart rate
· Inability to stop talking
· Increased empathy and sense of communication
· Both decreased and increased sexual function and desire
· Loss of cognitive ability relating to the distinction of relative importance of matters (ie. one might spend days thinking that he or she is being productive but later realize that the activity and/or product was not even necessary)
Injecting this substance has recently been associated with symptoms similar to those seen in patients with Parkinson's Disease.
Chronic high dosage use may result in acute mental confusion ranging from mild paranoia to psychosis.
WITHDRAWAL EFFECTS
Withdrawal symptoms include lethargy, depression, nightmares and tremors.
OVERDOSE
Overdose on these drugs can result in ‘amphetamine psychosis’, a recognised psychiatric condition. Deprived of sleep and over-stimulated, the user
may panic and become violent, manifesting magnified physical strength. They may feel they have bugs crawling under their skin, and suffer from other delusions and paranoia. Pupils will be enlarged, and heart rate, blood pressure, and temperature will all be increased. Teeth grinding and jaw clenching are common.
may panic and become violent, manifesting magnified physical strength. They may feel they have bugs crawling under their skin, and suffer from other delusions and paranoia. Pupils will be enlarged, and heart rate, blood pressure, and temperature will all be increased. Teeth grinding and jaw clenching are common.
Again if you are a drug user / addict or know someone who is, please seek help immediately! Your life is worth more than that and the consequences are far worse than the few moments of disillusion the drugs bring. Get help NOW! I have included a few details below for South Africa, where one can get help with addiction but if you're from another country, Google for your nearest help centre / helpline.
Monday, March 3, 2014
THE SKYPE DEBACLE ... WHO'S THAT BEHIND YOU?!!
Now when the living situation between a husband and wife is a little different ( like so many other things in my seemingly complicated life ) you learn to use technology to your advantage. She lived in Johannesburg and I lived in Centurion, Pretoria. Things like Whatsapp, Facebook and the like become powerful tools of communication between loved ones living a "distance-challenged" relationship.
This story however encompasses the brilliant Skype program. Skype is an online program, to those of you that may not know, which allows you to amongst other things use your webcam to speak to different parties so that you see them in real-time and enjoy their company as though they were really in front of you. You see them and you hear them depending on your laptop / PC's capabilities.
Ok so the background story is complete, we used Skype to communicate with each other. Some nights we would talk to 3 or 4 am, chit-chatting about this and that and so on. Now one such night we were speaking. She was lying on her bed in her room and I was lying on the couch in my lounge. Now and again one of us would disappear to use the bathroom or to get a snack.
Skype is so accurate that you can literally hear things in the background as clearly as though it were happening right there by you. I'm sure if your volume was loud enough you could hear a whisper. Anyway so this night of chatting to "the love of my life", she tells me she's going to the kitchen to fetch a snack.
Now whether she knew or not, her laptop was facing her headboard, which had mirrors on the side. I'm inclined to believe that she forgot about this and as she put her laptop down I could still see what was going on in the room through reflection in these headboard mirrors.
It was then that I saw her walk past the mirror.... and then another larger figure behind her!!! I then called her. The phone rang and rang. About 5 - 10 minutes later she returned. I went quiet. By now I'm sure you can once again imagine the millions of questions lighting up the neurons in my mind and the fireworks of me questioning what I had just witnessed with my own eyes. Did I really see something or was it my imagination.
I then asked her the extremely pertinent question:
"Who was that behind you?"
She then said there was no one else there. I told her I had seen someone walk out of the room as she had, right behind her and again she denied it and said I was seeing things. My mind was literally scrambled. Had I really seen someone, I mean if someone loves you like they say and as much as you do then they wouldn't lie to you would they. especially one's own loving spouse, right?
I told her that I knew what I had seen and that she was lying to my face. I also said I didn't want to here excuses because someone was there! She then got extremely emotional and carried the laptop to her kitchen. All I saw was the laptop moving and then it was placed down. She sat in front of the laptop, in the front entrance of her parents kitchen and she pulled a very large knife, which she had just taken from the kitchen drawer and started threatening to kill herself because I didn't believe it.
She was crying hysterically and saying that she would swear on the Bible if she had to that no one else was in her room with her and she couldn't understand why I was being so hard on her and that I had trust issues because she really loved me and didn't know how to prove it to me except by hurting herself!
Of course I said whatever I could to stop her from hurting herself. This was the woman who had my heart and I really didn't want to see her come to harm especially if I knew I could stop it, what would you do? I begged and pleaded until she finally agreed to put the knife down. A few hours later, after talking and talking the whole situation was forgotten and we moved on ... or so she thought.Hell, 2 whole years went by before the truth of that night came out and it went a little something like this.... Apparently her male friend, the one who was in the previous story at the Linden Police station, was in fact in the room with her and I did see him walking past as they exited the room so he could leave and go home. He was there because they were doing drugs in her room, in her parents house and with her 3 children around her!!!
Good mother, good daughter and good wife right? Everybody does this right? This is normal isn't it? Now the questions this raised is what her true relationship with this man was, this so-called firend because at every turn, there he was. It's now been 3 years since that night and I still can't tell you what the extent of her relationship with this man is / was.... your guess is as good as mine!
"Who was that behind you?"
Sunday, March 2, 2014
WHY MUST I PICK YOU UP AT THE POLICE STATION AGAIN?
JUNE 2011 - Hmmm... this story I can only tell to about the halfway point but I guarantee you that it is about as shocking and interesting as any story I have told and have to yet to tell. So here goes nothing and I honestly wish I were making this up or even embellishing this in the least but as the saying goes real-life is more often than not stranger than fiction.I called my wife and told her I needed her help the next day. Just as a backstory, I was living in Centurion, Pretoria and she was living with her 3 kids from her first marriage at her parents house in Johannesburg. She told me she didn't have a problem meeting me at the BP garage in Bergbron and we agreed for 11am.
Next morning, being my day off from work also, I showered and left the house. At this point in time, I had a fairly new 320i BMW and driving was a total dream. So as I drove, music playing on the radio, I decided to give her a call and find out if things were still on schedule for our meeting and she said she was waiting for her friend Reza who would pick her up at her parents house and drop her off at our meeting point.
Now she lived about a 5 minute drive from the BP garage, so when I got there I parked the car and waited. It was 10:50am so I was still on time and a little early. The at 11:05am I called her again and she said they were about 2 minutes away.Two minutes turned to 30 minutes! What the hell was going on now? Knowing that she lived 5 minutes away and having heard her tell me that that she was 2 minutes away I was a little more concerned. She to me they were stopped by police at a roadblock and she was talking to them.
Another half hour passed and I was getting upset. I've been stopped at roadblocks before but this was ridiculous and then my phone rang. I answered and a man spoke. It wasn't a voice of anyone I had heard before. He told me that my wife was at the Linden Police Station and that I should come there because she was in trouble.
Linden Police Station? Where the hell was that? Remember I'm not from Johannesburg so I wasn't aware of all these places. I Googled directions and called the police station for directions. I then started driving. My thoughts were becoming more and more erratic as I drove. After many phonecalls for directions and getting lost taking wrong turns, I finally made it to the Linden Police Station in Randburg.
I got out of the car and there I saw my wife. I greeted the 4 or 5 men that stood around her and asked if she was ok. She was. The one thing this woman was good at was talking, and she was talking and talking. It was at this point that one of the police officers told me what had happened. Finally some truth. What followed was yet again shocking an indicative of the type of people I had now let enter my life.
They first asked me:
"Is your wife on drugs or does she have a drug habit?"
To which I answered that she had done it before but had told me she stopped. They then asked me how sure I was that she was off drugs and I told them I believe she really was. The rest of the story then came out. Apparently she and her friend, also her drug buddy, had taken a turn on the way to meeting me.He had told her that he had to pay a guy he owed money to. She told me that she was 2 minutes away but clearly that was a lie. She was actually quite a distance away. What he said was money owed was actually him buying drugs from Nigerians in the Randburg area. Unfortunately for them both, this was part of a sting operation by the police and they were both taken by the cops.
It was then that they called me and the rest is history. The cops told me that if I could vouch for her they wouldn't arrest her since she wasn't seen buying the drugs but she however was in the car and that proves intent. I told them about myself and that she wasn't this drug user ( Which by the way looking back now, I couldn't have been more wrong in my entire life ).
At this point they brought out Reza, her friend in handcuffs. They then told me they give me permission to beat the, excuse my language, "shit" out of him. I was so speechless with what was happening that I could only look at him. My wife still talking and talking in the background. This was the most pathetic thing I had ever seen in my entire life. What's with drugs? I still don't get it but this is life I guess.
The police let her go and we both left. My head still reeling with all the crap I had just encountered, the lies I was told by my wife and her mouth still going on and on with no off switch. This was a world I had never in my entire life been exposed to or even these kinds of people but here I was. Seriously, as naive as I was, I had only seen these things in movies but because of the kind of woman I had married, this seemed to be the life I was now innocently sucked into. Yes I had a sheltered childhood perhaps but this was just so wrong.
I then picked up the phone and called her mother, telling her mother everything that had transpired. Her mother was shocked but thanked me for helping her daughter. Clearly her daughter was in trouble. Clearly her daughter had a problem and gullible old me believed every word I was told. I honestly didn't know that drug users / addicts could lie so much or what it took to love a drug addict / user. All I thought was this is my wife, why would she lied to me? Just another day in drugland!
"Is your wife on drugs or does she have a drug habit?"
Saturday, March 1, 2014
IT'S ONLY A PHOTO ... AND IT'S YOUR BROTHER, WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?
MAY 2011 - So one quiet Sunday afternoon, I'm relaxing on my couch in my lounge, watching TV and taking some necessary R&R from my job as a retail store manager. Stretched out and taking some time to myself I suddenly heard my phone make a sound. I carefully lifted the phone, pondering who would send me a message and desecrate my much needed peace and silence.Feeling a bit hesitant, at the odd chance it may be a work issue, my heart skipped a beat. I saw it was a text message. Had my store been robbed? Did they need me to come in to work? These were just a few of the many questions which now plagued me. I immediately sat up took a breath and then checked the message.
Lo and behold it was a "selfie" of my wife in her bra and underwear... confused, I asked what the pic was for? She replied saying she had taken the pic a while back and thought that I would like it. Something inside me didn't click too well or rather let me say something was truly amiss. Now my wife is pretty but that picture was not flattering in the least.
She was wearing a black underwear set of sorts and sitting on the carpet of her room where she stayed with her mother. Her one leg was raised and the other straight out. Problem is that she suffers from a skin disease and throw in some healthy cottage cheese ( cellulite ) and you kind of get an idea of what I'm talking about. Then I asked her the million dollar question:
"Who else did you send it to?"
To which she replied no one else. Again I felt that sinking feeling. She said she had taken the picture a while back but it was for me. Personally, I'm not into those kind of things so the whole episode was just a little puzzling to say the least. I saved the photo.
Months go past and I had totally forgotten about the photo, until one night when again I was relaxing at home and my phone rang. Now I don't know about you but sometimes when the phone rings do you get the feeling that the news is not good? Just sometimes in the very bottom pit of you stomach?
Well that was the feeling I got and then I answered it.
"Asalamu alaykum," the person greeted and then proceeded to ask the strangest question, " is she there? I need to speak to you alone!"
I walked out and heard a story that sickened me to my core. The kind that makes your skin crawl and your hair all over you body stand on end. The person on the other side was my mother. The tale she told was, well then at least, the worst things my ears had ever heard.
So my mom tells me that one of her acquaintances came to see her after calling multiple times and telling her it was an emergency and he had something he must share with her. He told then proceeded to tell her that he was at my youngest brother's house and they were sitting chatting.
Apparently my brother was boasting about how he had bested me and he finally had proof. Laughing he showed my mother's friend the exact same photo of my wife sitting on the carpet in her underwear etc. He then sent the picture to my mom's friends phone so he could see and laugh at this as well.
Then suddenly my mother asked me how long my wife's hair was because in the picture her was short and in her neck, to which I replied it was shoulder length now. My mom then told me that clearly the photo was taken a while back if her hair was longer now. I kept quiet, I remembered this picture clearly. She then told me that the picture was being sent amongst many men in my old hometown and my brother wasn't shy about showing and sending it to strangers.
We greeted and ended the call. My wife was inside the house. I took a deep breath and shook my head in disbelief as I looked upwards into the starry night. Is this really happening? What am I doing wrong? How do I keep screwing up my life with these kind of women? I took another deep breath and walked back into the house.
I looked at her as she sat with our 3 month old child and I asked her, who she sent that picture of her half naked to to which she kept quiet and then answered to no one. I asked her two more times and still got the same answer.
Then I told her my mother had seen the photo and the entire story. She then looked down and uttered the words:
"There's something I need to tell you"
A story I honestly wasn't prepared for unfolded. She had been chatting to my brother on Facebook and had, on his request to see her naked, sent the picture to him. She then continued saying that she and him were friends before we met, she was vulnerable and about 1000 more excuses. The only thing that stuck in my mind was, she was my wife when she had done this!
Imagine the embarrassment of this act, my mother told me, everybody from my hometown where I had grown up had seen this photo and worst of all she sent it to my brother! What's worse? I had never heard of anything like this before. How depraved does someone have to be to do this to their spouse? What the hell goes through someone's head when they do this? Is this normal behaviour? is she some sort of sociopath?
WHAT THE HELL?
. If I still had the photo then I would post it here for you to see, but unfortunately for me, I don't. Perhaps I could ask any guys who lives in Uitenhage for the photo.....
"Who else did you send it to?"
Thursday, January 30, 2014
YOU CAN'T CHOOSE WHO YOU LOVE ... OR CAN YOU?
YOU CAN’T CHOOSE WHO YOU LOVE ... OR CAN YOU?
When my first marriage ended and my second wife became my
focus, somewhere in the loud silence within the far reaches of my mind a tiny
light glimmered. The light bearing something earth shattering to knowing
myself. How long had this light been there? I really can’t tell you but what
started out as a flicker in an abyss of darkness started throbbing and growing.
The light was the realisation which would forever change my
thoughts and question my very sanity and the functioning of my heart and soul.
The light was the dawning of a sad and honest reflection of who I was truly
deep inside and what it was my heart wanted.
Now I could use words such as sadistic and narcissism but I
could go on and on about that. The light that I speak of was the knowledge that
I seemed to be attracted to a specific kind of woman. Sadly, it seems my life
plan had wavered very far of course that I could and still can’t see where it
started. How did I get to this? Why did I become like this?
Perhaps it stems in a Freudian fashion back to my own mother
and my feelings toward her. My mother was strong and demanding, a true
patriarch, the kind of woman who took charge and got things done. The matriarch
set the standard for all women in me and my siblings lives to forever bask in
that shadow without a chance of getting close to as virtuous or decent as she
was.
So how far of course had my path diverged, you may be
wondering? What’s so special about my love of a certain kind of woman and the
realisation thereof? Let me break it down this way and then you may understand
this just a little more:
WIFE ONE
- Married for 10 years
- Had a poor relationship with her parents and family
- Had sex with her cousin on an ongoing basis
- Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Manic Depression
- Suffered a few miscarriages while we were married
- Was a pathological liar
- Had 2 children while we were married, one of which I know is mine
- Slept with different men for the duration of her pregnancies
- Claimed she slept with her boss so that her review would always be good and not get Any warnings
- Slept with men in parking lots, our bed and our home
- Fond of taking any kind of prescription drugs
- Institutionalised for bipolar disorder
- Became and married a lesbian / same sex partner whom she met while getting help
WIFE TWO
- Was married before and had 3 children divorced at 26
- Cheated on her first husband many times with a married man
- Married for nearly 2 weeks before she started cheating
- Aborted our child because she wanted a relationship with her ex-boyfriend, while we were married
- Enjoyed being a regular drug user to the point of being an addict
- Met and slept with men from Facebook
- Disappeared with my best friend of nearly 20 years for 7 hours and thus ending our friendship
- Has a strange affinity to her brother the surpasses normal affection
- Has “daddy issues”
- Was raped 4 times in her life
- Is a pathological liar
- Slept with co-workers and bosses to the point where it’s cost her her career
I could go on and on but I’m sure you get the picture by
now. I seem to be attracted to these kinds of women. They show no real love or
affection like the rest of us and a relationship with these kind of people are
only to the detriment of the other person.
I really have no idea why I’m drawn to these women, it’s not
like my mother didn’t warn me against these kinds of women but perhaps somehow,
somewhere, I must get off on this. The realisation was definitely an eye opener
and also almost certainly may suggest the I may need psychological help from a
therapist of some sort to help me out.
I do know that if I'm attracted to anyone it must mean that there's something wrong with the person, a 'spider-sense' if you will or perhaps a specialised radar, but whatever you want to call it, know that it just means that I should probably be better off staying away from that person.
I will ask you this question one more time and this time
really think about it for a moment, you cant choose who you love.... or can
you?
Friday, November 8, 2013
YOU DON'T DO DRUGS, SO YOU'RE NOT WELCOME IN MY HOUSE
Now anyone that’s read my posts will know by now that when I start a story that goes “I have a friend...” knows who I’m really talking about. This story is no exception so without further ado let’s proceed with today’s story entitled:
YOU DON’T DO DRUGS SO YOU’RE NOT WELCOME IN MY HOUSE
So right, I have this friend, let’s call him Jerry. Jerry married this woman ... her name is ... well today let’s call her Becky. Becky had divorced her husband because well he wasn’t nice and she had an affair and the guilt ate at her so that relationship was pretty much doomed. They did however have 3 children together.
Okay, let’s get back to Jerry, before Jerry married Becky, she had made him go speak to her father because in her paranoiac mind she figured out some plot against her and Jerry by her ex-husband and her brother. Jerry, being the gentleman he was, and believing through his love-filled rose tainted glasses that his beloved would never play him for the fool, proceeded to go and speak to her father.
Jerry was honest and told her father exactly how much he
felt for Becky and so on. Nothing was ever the same after that again. The next
time they would meet, Becky’s dad nicely refused to let him past the driveway
gate. He had stood in the rain that night when he was denied access to their
house.
Jerry and Becky then decided to get married, with Becky
finding the correct religious advisor to perform the marriage and also a place
for the marriage to take place as well as a time. This was done unbeknownst to
her parents.
As time went by Jerry started noticing something about
Becky, her friends and her family. He couldn’t meet Becky at home, due to her
father’s animosity towards him so she made elaborate plans with what she called
her friends in a way that they would fetch her and take her to wherever she
could meet Jerry.
Becky’s so called friends who were allowed in the house, to
sleep there and Lord knows do what also, were okay for Becky’s father to have
associate with his daughter. These friends were less than desirable compared to
Jerry. Jerry had worked hard all his life and his career was moving forward. He
was stable and pleasant both in character and demeanour.
Becky’s first friend, let’s call him Bob was far older than
Becky. He had met her when she was 13 and he was way older and had tried to
entice her to him by buying her a jeans. The story goes that they had been
friends ever since.
Becky’s other partner in crime was her cousin, let’s call
her Fiona. Fiona, if memory serves me correctly had gone through having regular
abortions at the rate of about 1 every 2 years from the age of 12 or 14.
Both of Becky’s friends were regular drug users. They did
drugs daily and with Becky. Jerry didn’t know this of course till long
afterwards. So these were the friends that Becky and her family deemed fit to
be around their daughter. Jerry tried again to enter Becky’s house but was once
again denied.
In the meantime, Fiona and Bob were allowed to come and go
as often as they liked. Taking Becky away from Jerry and convincing her that
Jerry was bad. Becky did drugs with them and even though she was under the
watchful eye of her parents, she had the world to explore with her two friends
by her side.
About a year later after things had cooled down and Jerry
was allowed back into Becky parents house, he asked her father how it was that
drug addicts and whores were allowed to associate with his daughter but he,
Jerry, who had never touched drugs or did anything as vile as they did was not
allowed to come inside, the father then replied....
“We didn’t know they were using drugs.”
You can imagine how shocked Jerry was. Apparently most of
Becky’s peers and community knew she was a drug user and the kind of reputation
these friends had. I would even go so far as to say that her siblings and ex-husband also knew.
Jerry’s perspective will forever and always be that he
wasn’t allowed into that house but drug addicts, users and women who would have
made more money by charging their bedfellows for their services were.
Moral of this story, be very careful who you choose to chase
away from your house and who you allow into your house. You may be shocked at
what lurks in those hallowed rooms within your abode.
Thursday, October 31, 2013
HOW I GOT MY FIRST GOOGLE ADSENSE CHEQUE – BLOGGING IN SOUTH AFRICA
Sometime in 2009, my brother practically begged me to see
the ‘website’ he had created for his stepson. Eventually I clicked on the link
and to my surprise I saw something that I liked and this piqued my curiosity. I
then asked him question after question on how he did that, was it easy, could i
do it?
For years my passion has been movies and TV shows. Movies, I
guess because it always felt like family bonding moments whenever we rented
movies. Movies, as I’m sure the feeling is for everyone, is really escapism
into other worlds or realities, away from the dreary day to day life.
So naturally my first
blog was going to be about movies. I found a template and immediately started
learning to navigate Blogger until I became accustomed to it. Any help I
needed, I consulted my brother or Googled it. I posted reviews about movies I
had seen, expressing my opinions for the world to see. Everyday after work I’d
come home and check my stats. Were there any pageviews? What else could I write
about?
I wasn’t obsessed, but rather excited at the fact that
anything I wrote about could be expelled onto the net for the entire world to
see. I wrote on and off and in 2010 my life changed a bit with a new job and
baby girl. It was then that I created a blog for my daughter also, documenting
her birth in photos.
I blogged until around October 2010 and never touched it
again until July 2012! In this absence, alot changed in the world of blogging.
I needed to change my template again. There were now literally hundreds of
sites with them and codes for all kinds of widgets. I also found Google Adsense
and Google Plus which I now used. It didn’t hurt of course to add some social
networking in the form of Twitter and Facebook pages which automatically
updated whenever I posted something new.
Due to an unfortunate turn of events, I stopped blogging
again as life took it’s toll once more. I then started blogging again in April
2013. Here’s where something changed. To my surprise when I logged in, I found
that my pageviews were in the tens of thousands, that I had followers on
Facebook and Twitter and that I was actually earning money even though I hadn’t
touched the blog in months.
I once again changed my template to update with the times.
There were even more templates to choose from across the web. I fixed my blog
to look more professional and kept watching as my blogs pageviews multiplied.
Then around the beginning of October 2013, I was ecstatic to have received my
first cheque from Google for my work on my blogs.
You can imagine my amazement because what started out as a
hobby and a passion had actually turned into money. From life experiences, I’ve
found that money and passion seldom agree with each other. As I write this, I
see my next cheque is already on the way. I really enjoy blogging and look
forward to doing it for a very long time.
So if you’ve found something you’re passionate about, write
about it.Who knows, your passion could also turn into some welcomed cash.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
Who's Your Daddy?
Okay so imagine you meet a nice girl and you two hit it off.
You love that she’s intelligent and can keep a good conversation. You two start
a relationship and bond on emotional, physical and even spiritual levels. Like
so many guys who meet girls, this is typical hoe a relationship begins and
continues. It’s communication that essentially is the metaphorical ‘glue’
between any couple.
Part of the bonding is sharing stories with each other, the
intimate details of your life, morals and perhaps even experience. You totally
open up to the other and trust is built. I think anyone that has had any kind
of relationship must surely understand what I’m saying.
One such story during the bonding phase goes like this...
I heard one of the most private secrets spoken off the soft
lips of a loved one. She told me that when she was in matric and doing her
final exams, her grandmother, on her father’s side asked her and her father to
undergo a paternity test to prove that she was indeed her father’s daughter.
She said she was under immense stress and could hardly cope with writing exams
and going through the emotional trauma of a paternity test.
My heart broke and I really didn’t know what to say. A
thousand different things went through my head, least of all, I pondered then
if her grandmother was questioning her paternity that really implied that her
own mother must’ve done something to have an entire family wondering such a
thing. I looked into her eyes and asked if she knows why her grandmother would
endure both her and her father to such a test and she responded saying she didn’t
know.
What does one really say when you hear such a story. It’s a
complex mixture of personal history intertwined with emotion and inner turmoil.
One that’s possibly unimaginable unless you yourself have gone through such an
experience.
Right, now flash forward two years into the future. The
woman is now the ripe old age of 31. Her father sits in front of us. We now
have a child of our own, a little boy. The only problem is, she admitted having
an affair with her ex-boyfriend during the marriage and one of the things in
question is the paternity of our own child. This unsurety comes from a message
I intercepted on her phone where when chatting online to her ex-boyfriend’s
cousin, she was asked if who the father of her child was, to which she replied
her husband. Then she was told that the child looked like someone else and
questioned how sure she was. She then replied with an oh and said she’d have to
look.
So here she sits, with her dad and I. Trying to reach out to
her dad, I said he should appreciate the questioning of paternity of our son
because he too experienced it when he and his daughter went through it and thus
understanding my predicament.
The question I’m leaving you with is, why would someone make
up such an elaborate story? To serve what purpose exactly and to achieve what?
There are just some questions to which we have to resign ourselves to the fact
that we’ll never know the answer to for as long as we live.
Imagine to my amazement when her father turns around to me
and says he has NO IDEA WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!! No such event ever happened!
The two of us sat dumbfounded and confused. The entire story was a lie! He’s
daughter had nothing to further say, instead she tried to make up more excuses.
The question I’m leaving you with is, why would someone make
up such an elaborate story? To serve what purpose exactly and to achieve what?
There are just some questions to which we have to resign ourselves to the fact
that we’ll never know the answer to for as long as we live.Tuesday, October 22, 2013
YOU DON'T NEED TO BE A CRIMINAL ... To Be In Jail
We work very hard every day to live what we all consider our
dreams. For some of us it’s just the basics that matter, a roof over our head
and food on the table, anything else you can afford after that is I suppose
considered wealth.
Now back to the “roof over our head” bit. It seems in South
Africa, one of the best, let’s call it living situations is in what we call
Townhouse Complexes. These complexes provide a safety net or safety in numbers.
Lots of families, living in bricked up houses and feeling safe behind six foot
walls with electric fences. These complexes are common place and litter the
landscape all along our cities. Even these have levels relating to wealth, with
the extremely rich having all kinds of protection against the outside world
including fingerprint / handprint identification, guest verification and so on.
Why would we hide behind these electrified walls? To be safe
against whatever the world may throw at us? While living like this may be
considered freedom and really, few of us even know our neighbours or even their
names other than a smile and a wave now and again, this is really sub-conscious
prison walls we’ve thrown up around us.
Let’s look at the differences or similarities. Electrified
fence – CHECK. Guards at a gate – CHECK. Walls higher than we can climb –
CHECK. Perhaps the only difference is that unlike jail, we report to landlords
instead of jailors and we’ve chosen to live like this, whereas in jail there’s
no choice. I’m sure I could go on and on about the similarities but I’m sure
you get the idea.
We have now as a civilised nation really jailed ourselves
all with a notion of safety. Whilst I realise that South Africa is one of the
most crime infested countries in the world, I find myself asking how is this
living if we’re all cooped up in these self – inflicted jail cells? Guess at
the end of the day it’s all a matter of perspective isn’t it?
Check out the into song for the TV show Weeds, I think it describes it aptly...
Saturday, October 12, 2013
SOCIAL NETWORKING - HOW DETRIMENTAL ARE THEY TO RELATIONSHIPS
Now in all honesty I truly believe in the good in people.
When given any choice they will make the right choice. Now I hear some of you
laughing. Perhaps it’s naive but I try not to be too cynical. So when your
partner is on Social Networking platforms like Facebook, Whatsapp, Mxit even
Linkedin, you shouldn’t have any serious concerns because you know your partner
won’t do anything wrong or get mixed up with strange things.
When I married my second wife, the Imam said, “don’t let
Facebook become a problem.” I smiled and my wife and I left. It bothered me then and after all I’ve been
through, it still bothers me. Had Facebook become such a problem that holy men
were talking about it to newlyweds?
Now I’ve read stories where people have changed their
relationship status to ‘single’ while they were still in a relationship and
this caused real issues in there lives. I myself am no stranger to things that
happen online but the question I’m
posing here is do you really wan to blame all these Social Networking
platforms? With technology today, we have everything at our fingertips, so
should you monitor and perhaps even block your partner?
My answer simply is that of so many gun owners, guns don’t
kill people, people kill people. Shouldn’t this philosophy extend itself to
something like Facebook and the like? Can you really blame social networking or
is it the responsibility of the person using it?
Now at the same time I hear people saying but rather perhaps
abstain from using it, problem solved right? Wrong, sure abstinence could work
but where do you draw the line? Where does it stop? Before you know it you’re
living in a technology free household and holding onto a false sense of
security.
Let me say this to you, if you don’t trust your partner on
any internet forum then perhaps the problem is actually between you and your
partner, not the platform. The platform mainly provides a service and how it’s
used depends totally on the person using it. You will literally drive yourself
crazy trying to stop what will probably be the inevitable anyway...
According to PsychCentral in a post entitled "FACEBOOK CAN DAMAGE A RELATIONSHIP" the following was found:
"For many, social networking sites are integral to relationships, but a new study finds that Facebook use could actually damage users’ romantic relationships.
"Researchers from the University of Missouri found that individuals who use Facebook excessively are far more likely to experience Facebook-related conflict with their romantic partners.This acrimony can cause negative relationship outcomes including emotional and physical cheating, breakup and divorce.
In the study, researcher Russell Clayton and collegues surveyed Facebook users ages 18 to 82 years old. Participants were asked to describe how often they used Facebook and how much, if any, conflict arose between their current or former partners as a result of Facebook use.The researchers found that high levels of Facebook use among couples significantly predicted Facebook-related conflict, which then significantly predicted negative relationship outcomes such as cheating, breakup, and divorce."
To read more from PsychCentral click here
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